Best of Both Worlds
by samlover14
Summary: Jeffery Sterling is starting at a new school on Monday morning. He's a little nervous about it, but then again not many 15 year old superstars get to go to a normal high school. More importantly, though, he's worried about not having friends – especially if anyone at school finds out he's actually a superstar. Warbler!AU, based on Hannah Montana. [Niff!]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Will anyone read this, let's find out! Hi kiddies. Is it wrong to want to be known as 'that bitch who write niff fics but never fuckin updates anything' because I think i'm well on my way. **

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**Basically, the point of this, if you didn't get it already because I'm pretty bad with words (good for a writer), Jeff Sterling is a superstar who moves to LA (after touring for a while or some shit idk) and he's settling in LA so he's going to a new school, enter Dalton Academy! which is in LA for whatever reason! Yay! Jeff moves in next door to Nick Duval, runner-up of the Warblers, and longtime best friend of Sebastian Smythe. What Nick and Sebastian don't know, is that Jeff doubles as superstar RikeЯ, whom they're both completely obsessed with, because, let's face it, he's the coolest guy on the planet. It's based on Hannah Montana, btdubs, cuz that show was some good tv. I'll shut up now, READ ON!**

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**Best of Both Worlds  
Episode One  
**

Jeffery Sterling was starting at a new school on Monday morning. He was a little nervous about it. Not many 15 year old superstars get to go to a normal high school. But more importantly, he was worried about not having friends – and especially if anyone at school found out he was actually a superstar. He didn't think he'd be recognized – he usually looked much different onstage with his guitar than he did on the street.

Jeff finished washing the black, blue, and pink hair dye out of his bangs and flipped his hair back to the other side.

"Jeff, honey, come downstairs! The neighbors are here!" Jeff's mother called.

"Just a sec, Mom!" Jeff replied. Quickly, Jeff surveyed his outfit, face, and hair, to make sure all traces of superstar were gone. He took off his favorite custom-made guitar pick necklace and put it in the drawer under the sink. "Perfect." Straightening his glasses, Jeff trotted downstairs to meet the neighbors. His mother had gotten impatient and taken the adult neighbors into the backyard. Mr. Neighbor was going to grill something. Mrs. Neighbor and Jeff's mother were talking loudly to this effect on the patio.

However, the neighbors' son was standing in the living room, awkwardly scuffing his feet on the carpet.

"Hey," Jeff said as he jumped off the end of the stairs. The other kid looked up.

"Hey," he said. "I'm Nick Duval, I live next door."

"Nice to meet you," Jeff said. "I'm Jeff. Jeff Sterling."

"Cool," Nick said.

"It will probably take them a while to get lunch cooked. Did you want to play a video game or something?" Jeff asked. "Or, actually, I have monopoly…"

"Sure, monopoly is fun," Nick said. "Don't tell anyone, but the only video game I'm good at is Guitar Hero."

"Haha, me too!" Jeff agreed without thinking. "Well… yeah, I'm still pretty bad."

"Me too!" Nick said, giggling. Jeff took the monopoly box from under the stairs to the kitchen table.

Soon Nick and Jeff felt as if they'd been friends for years, laughing at each other's' modified game rules (Jeff never played with hotels, Nick liked to make up fun ways to get extra money).

"What kind of music do you like?" Nick asked.

"Oh, uh… everything," Jeff said. "Some pop, rock, Fall Out Boy, 80s, 20s jazz, musicals… basically everything good."

"Yeah, me too," Nick said. "We get a lot of good bands coming through here, of course, what do you expect, LA, right? But the best talent by far, and I am in no way being modest about this, is the Warblers."

"What's the Warblers?" Jeff asked.

"The show choir at school," Nick said. "Do you sing?"

"Uh… not usually," Jeff lied.

"Oh, my Gosh, but you can dance right? You look like a dancer," Nick said. "All my friends are in the Warblers. My best friend and I actually are sort-of like the co-vice presidents!"

"Co-vice presidents?" Jeff asked.

"Well, we're only sophomores," Nick said. "Next year when Wes graduates, we'll be in charge."

"What's the school like?" Jeff asked. "Is it hard? Are people nice?"

"It's like a big party!" Nick exclaimed. "Everybody's always singing and dancing."

"Oh."

"Don't you like singing and dancing?" Nick asked, almost appalled that anyone could not.

"Course I do," Jeff said with a smile.

"And everyone is really nice," Nick said. "Well, except Sebastian, but I'll make him be nice to you."

Jeff's nerves were a little calmer as Jeff's mom dropped him and Nick off at school Monday morning. At least he had one friend. Nick pulled Jeff into the dining hall, where a lot of students, maybe the entire student body, was eating breakfast.

"Sebastian!" Nick called, hurrying over to him. "Sebastian, meet my neighbor, Jeff Sterling. Jeffers, my best friend, Sebastian Smythe."

"Nice to meet you," Jeff said awkwardly.

"The pleasure's all mine – or it will be, I hope," Sebastian said, eyeing Jeff up and down. "Not that you won't have the pleasure too, of course."

"How you use lines like _that_ and still get laid, I'll never know," Nick said, sitting down and stealing some of Sebastian's home fries. Jeff sat down awkwardly as well. "Hey, Blaine!" Nick shouted across the room, motioning him over. "Jeff, our soloist, Blaine Anderson. Blaine, my neighbor, Jeffery Sterling. And also, tell Sebastian to stop hitting on all the new recruits, or we won't have any new members."

"You're joining the Warblers?" Blaine asked Jeff.

"I don't know if I should," Jeff said. "I sort of have a lot on my plate, with the move and everything. And I'm probably not that good."

"Don't sweat it, new kid, you'll fit right in," Blaine said.

"Thanks…" Jeff said off-handedly. Really, he was afraid if they got him singing, they'd recognize him. Speaking of.

"Gentlemen, my brother says he can score us tickets to the RikeЯ concert this Friday night!" Blaine said.

"Really?" Sebastian said, totally excited, then– "I mean, that'd be cool, if I had, like, an 8-year-old sister."

"Bastian, we already know you're obsessed with him," Nick said.

"God, can you blame me? Have you see that boy's ass? Or, like, his perfectly flawless face? And his hips? Tell me you've never thought about licking his fucking abs. Even his smile! It makes Nick weak at the knees," Sebastian said in his own defense.

"I told you that in confidence!" Nick protested.

"no, you didn't, you practically moaned it while we watched his last interview," Sebastian said. "But how is Cooper getting tickets? It's sold out."

"Who knows? It's Cooper," Blaine said. "He's probably sleeping with the ticket agent. I just tell him how many I want, and he'll get them. Us three, Jeff, you wanna come?" Jeff looked up from his lap.

"Come where?"

"RikeЯ, in concert, this Friday!" Nick said. "He's _so_ gorgeous."

"Oh… um, no thanks," Jeff said.

"What?!" Sebastian practically shrieked. "You don't like RikeЯ? _How_ can you not like RikeЯ?"

"No, uh, I like him fine," Jeff said quickly. "I just have plans Friday night. I told my mom I'd help her unpack and stuff."

"Aww," Nick said. "You're gonna miss an _awesome_ show! Everyone keeps saying how seeing him live is nothing like listening to his album. He's _so_ alksadiasdlkjdk!"

"Maybe next time," Jeff said.

Except not next time. It would be pretty impossible for Jeff to go to his own show, since RikeЯ was Jeff's alter ego superstar persona.

Three days later, Jeff had reluctantly joined the Warblers. They were all at lunch on Thursday, excited about the concert.

"Cooper could only get me three tickets," Blaine was saying to Nick and Sebastian. "I can't wait to see him. I heard he was doing autographs at his dressing room."

"I just want him to sing Cali Girls," Nick said. "I always imagine he's singing Cali Boys." Nick sighed dramatically and fell into Jeff's shoulder laughing.

"Yeah, right," Sebastian said. "You'll have less luck getting RikeЯ than I do of seducing Jeff."

"What do you think, Jeffy?" Nick asked.

"About what?" Jeff asked.

"RikeЯ. Gay or straight?" Nick pressed.

"Oh… um… I don't know," Jeff said. "Never thought about it. He looks straight, I guess. Sings songs about girls."

"Really?" Sebastian sighed, absolutely heartbroken. "You think so? I mean…"

"Bastian. You're obsessed with him, we already know," Nick said.

"I'm like in _love_ with him!" Sebastian bemoaned. Jeff nervously readjusted his glasses on his face.

"You think RikeЯ's hot, though, right?" Blaine asked Jeff.

"He's not my type, I guess," Jeff said.

"Okay, that's it, I give up, I can't tell," Blaine sighed.

"Thank God, me neither," Nick said.

"What?"

"Dicks or chicks?" Sebastian asked.

"Um…" Jeff said.

"Are you gay, straight, bi, pan, ace, something else, or completely undecided?" Nick asked.

"I – I like boys, same as you three," Jeff said. "Sorry, I would have thought that was obvious." Sebastian grinned while the other two dug for their wallets.

"So, after school, I have to help my mom do something stupid, then I thought I could come over and we could play Guitar Hero," Nick said. "Sebastian has Lacrosse, Blaine has boxing, so just the two of us?"

"Oh, sure," Jeff said with a genuine smile. "Just text me before you come over. My mom and I might be doing something stupid." Jeff had a RikeЯ wardrobe fitting after school. "Four-thirty?"

"Sounds good," Nick agreed.

At 4:25, Jeff's phone got a text message.

"Nick alert, two minutes," Jeff announced. Jeff's mom kindly thanked the wardrobe gentleman and showed him to the door. Jeff raced upstairs to wash the hair dye out before Nick got there, scrambling to take out his contacts, and get rid of his necklace and bracelets all at once. As Jeff ran back downstairs, straightening his glasses on his face and flipping his bangs into position, the porch door opened and in walked Nick, holding his skateboard.

"Ready?" Nick grinned.

"Oh yeah! C'mon upstairs. The stuff's in my room," Jeff said. He'd made a conscious effort to Nickproof his room earlier that afternoon. "I've got, uh, Warriors of Rock, that's my favorite, also Smash Hits… Band Hero, and Rock Band 2. The rest are around somewhere, just haven't unpacked them yet."

"Awesome," Nick grinned. "I like Warriors of Rock too." Jeff made a point of letting Nick play guitar (as opposed to bass), and of doing badly on purpose. He thought he was probably taking too many precautions, but he didn't like the idea of the guys finding out he was actually RikeЯ, especially given how obsessed they all were.

"Can I use your bathroom?" Nick asked about an hour later.

"Umm…" Jeff said, trying to remember if he'd put his jewelry and hair dye away. "Yeah, sure."

"I won't tell your mom about any porn I see, I promise," Nick laughed as he left in the direction of the bathroom. All was fine for a minute or two, then… "Iiiiiii knew ittt," Nick sang, skipping out of the bathroom gleefully.

"Knew what?" Jeff asked.

"You're a closet RikeЯ fan!" Nick exclaimed. "It's okay, you don't have to be afraid of your feelings. You can come out of the RikeЯ closet. But more importantly than that, where did you get the necklace?"

"Um… it's… you can buy them on his website. Ten bucks," Jeff said. "The chain is pretty cheap, though, I'd get a better one if I were you."

"Aww, you put a J on the back of it," Nick said, peering at a tiny doodled J on the back of the necklace.

"Wouldn't want to lose it," Jeff shrugged.

"Are you sure you don't want to go tomorrow night?" Nick asked. "You can have my ticket. I'll see him next time."

"I really can't," Jeff said. "Maybe next time. You and Blaine and Sebastian will have a great time, he really does put on a pretty good show."

"What's your favorite song, though?" Nick asked.

"Cali Girls, of course," Jeff laughed.

"I'll video it for you," Nick promised.

"Nah, just enjoy the show," Jeff said.

"No, come on, you're my friend," Nick said.

"Really?" Jeff asked.

"Best friend," Nick avowed. It was in that second that Jeff almost confessed the whole thing, but just as the words were about to tumble out of his mouth, Jeff stopped. Now wasn't the time.

As promised, Friday night's show was awesome. From onstage, Jeff easily picked out the Warblers, often singing or pointing in their direction. Sebastian swooned more than once and actually yelled out, "RikeЯ, I love you!" during a gap in the music.

"Thanks!" Jeff replied brightly. "I love all of you! Thank you so much for coming tonight. I've got one last song for you." He plucked some chords on his guitar. Out of the corner of his eye, Jeff saw Nick losing his shit and falling into Sebastian.

_I like them Cali Girls, valley girls  
Like the way they move  
Love the things they do  
Keep me up at night_

"Thank you, Los Angeles! I'll be signing a few autographs at my dressing room. Good Night!" Jeff left the stage, dropping his guitar off with some sound guys before heading upstairs.

Jeff toweled most of the sweat from his hair. As usual, the washable hair dye had bled onto the towel. He sighed – he really had to get a better brand, although this was convenient for quick changes. Jeff quickly dabbed the black, blue, and pink streaks back into his bangs. Finally, he opened his dressing room door. He signed a few pictures of his face for some little girls. Then he was actually more surprised than he should have been when the next person in line was Blaine.

"Hi," Blaine said.

"Hey there," Jeff replied.

"Could you make it out to Sebastian?" Blaine asked. "Sebastian's my friend and he'd kill me if I didn't get an autograph for him. And can you do another one for my little brother, Blaine? He loves you. Not that I don't love you…"

"Sure thing," Jeff laughed, making out the two autographs.

"Thank you, RikeЯ, you're the best," Blaine yelled as security cut off the autographs and ushered Jeff back into his dressing room. And then promptly left Jeff alone. Jeff decided to take a shower because ew.

Unbeknownst to him, the dressing room window pushed open and there was Nick Duval's head.

"Higher!" Nick said.

"You're already standing on my head!" Sebastian snarked. "And you're not exactly light."

"Jump!" Nick suggested. Sebastian jumped and Nick heaved himself in the window. Holy lax security, Batman. Brushing himself off from his fall, Nick looked around the dressing room. "RikeЯ's hot dogs!" On another table… "RikeЯ's tie!" The tie in question was turquoise and white plaid. The bathroom door opened and out walked– "RikeЯ!" Jeff immediately turned his back, readjusting his bathrobe.

"Whoever you are, you better get out of here right now, or I'm gonna call security!" Jeff said.

"No, wait, my name's Nick Duval, and I'm a _huge fan_!" Nick exclaimed. Jeff cringed, it would be Nick, wouldn't it? He looked around for anything he could hide with. He'd only known Nick a week, but they'd hung out almost every second of every day, and he knew Nick would recognize him. Jeff's hair was in a towel, but… Jeff took a deep breath and smashed his face into a cream pie. "Did you just shove pie in your face?"

"It's a foaming facial wash… pie," Jeff said, dropping his voice an octave or two.

"What happened to your voice?" Nick asked.

"This happens after every show," Jeff said, hiding behind a rack of button up shirts and faded, ripped, and studded jeans.

"You give so much!" Nick exclaimed, parting the clothes down the center and stepping through the rack. Jeff turned his back and walked around the rack. Nick followed him. "I just wish Jeff was here…"

"Who's Jeff?" Jeff asked quickly. "Jeff's a nice name."

"Jeff is my best friend in the whole world," Nick declared.

"Well great!" Jeff said. "Why don't you run right out and get him?" Jeff opened the door to indicate Nick should leave.

"Great idea! I'll call him!" Nick exclaimed Jeff slammed the door.

"No, cell phones don't work in here…" Jeff began, but then his iPhone, upside down on the table, started to ring as Nick held his phone to his ear. "I guess they fixed it." Nick stared at the ringing phone.

"Are you gonna get that?" Nick asked.

"No, I'm talking to you, that would be rude," Jeff said. A few more rings, then– "Well, I guess he's not home." Jeff took Nick's phone, mashing the end call button. Jeff's pone on the table immediately silenced.

"Wow, that was weird," Nick said.

"Why don't I just give you an autograph for him?" Jeff asked, quickly taking a poster and signing it to 'Jeff'. Suddenly from the window came another voice.

"What about me? I'm the one who loves you!" Sebastian yelled. Finally his head came over the window ledge and saw Jeff with whipped cream all over his face. "You're much paler in person.'

"Yeah… I am," Jeff agreed. "Gosh, it was great to me you guys, but I gotta go." He pushed Nick to the door.

"Can't I shampoo and condition your beautiful blond hair?" Sebastian asked. "Or… actually, I can think of a whole slew of shower related things we could do." Panicking, Jeff threw a nearby towel at Sebastian.

"Really, I'm flattered, but no. Have a towel," Jeff said.

"RikeЯ's towel!" Sebastian exclaimed. Then he promptly fell from where he was hanging onto the second story window. "It's okay, none of my blood got on the towel!" Jeff opened the door and motioned Nick should leave.

"Well, I guess I'm leaving too," Nick said, dragging his feet, because he is a 15-year-old boy and this is such a plausible thing that he would do, obviously. "Without even a towel as a souvenir… Nothing but my memories… which will fade too, too quickly…" Jeff sighed deeply.

"Here," he said, picking up his tie from the table and handing it to Nick.

"Oh, my Gosh, the actual tie you wore on the actual stage!" Nick exclaimed. "I can't believe it!" Jeff bounced up and down as he impatiently waited for Nick to leave. As he did so, his necklace bounced out of his bathrobe. "Hey, my best friend has a necklace, just like that!" Nick said, reaching for it. "He drew this tiny J on the–" Nick stopped as he turned the pick over and there was the tiniest J doodled on the tip. "Just like that." Nick took the towel from Jeff's hair, letting the pristinely blond, streakless hair fall down, and used the towel to wipe the cream off Jeff's face.

"Ta-da…" Jeff said, cringing. Nick was stunned silent. "Sorry?" Nick sank onto the nearby couch. Jeff sat next to him, wiping the rest of the cream off his face. "Nick, I know you're upset I didn't tell you. But you can't just freeze me out like this. Please talk to me."

"I thought we were friends," Nick said. "But I guess I was wrong, since you kept basically the biggest secret ever, Jeffery Sterling –slash– RikeЯ with a backward R!"

"Okay, well, other than that… did you enjoy the concert?" Jeff asked. Nick just looked at the piece of paper in his hands.

"I am so out of here," Nick finally said, getting up and storming into the hall.

"Nick, wait!" Jeff said, hurrying after him. "I wanted to tell you! It's just… I was afraid. You know, I thought maybe you wouldn't be my friend anymore and you'd like RikeЯ more than you like me."

"That's what you thought?" Nick asked. "That will never happen, Jeff, don't you know that? RikeЯ's a celebrity I get obsessed with one week out of the year. You're my best friend, who I happen to have only known for that specific one week."

"Really?" Jeff smiled.

"Yeah," Nick said.

"No more secrets," Jeff said. "And to prove it, I want to show you something."

* * *

"You ready?" Jeff asked, huge smile on his face.

"Why are we in your closet? I came out of one of these a long time ago, and I am not going back now, not even for fucking Narnia," Nick said.

"Because behind my closet is… my _closet_!" Jeff grinned, pushing aside a curtain. "And also, I was lying about not being unpacked. I did this the first day." Nick's eyes went wide. A rainbow of colored and patterned button-ups, 150 different ties, rack after rack of Holister sweatshirts, leather jackets, and skinny jeans. An entire wall of converse, and even a few pairs of leather lace-up books. At least six guitars were standing there as well.

"This is one closet I can get on board with," Nick exclaimed. "Wait til Blaine and Sebastian find out! Here, take my phone. Get a picture of me with one of these guitars!"

"Nicky," Jeff whined. "You can't tell anyone!"

"Why not?" Nick asked.

"Once people find out I'm RikeЯ, they won't treat me the same!"

"Duh! That's the whole point!" Nick said. "You'd be promoted to lead solist of the Warbelrs faster than lightning. I'm talking mega-popularity for both of us. Solos every week!"

"No!"

"How can you be so selfish?" Nick asked. "I thought you were my best friend. You should want this for me!"

"Well if you were my best friend, you'd understand why I can't do it!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Come on, cut me some slack, RikeЯ!" Nick whined.

"RikeЯ? I knew this would happen," Jeff sighed.

"Did I say RikeЯ? I didn't mean that, it was a mistake," Nick said.

"No, the mistake was trusting someone I've only known for six days," Jeff said. Nick was stunned silent.

Jeff's mom was downstairs when Nick came through.

"Hello, Nick dear," Jeff's mom said. "I think things are going to be a lot better around here now that you know our little secret." Nick didn't say anything, just stormed out. "Or not." 20 seconds later, Jeff came downstairs, grabbed a spoon, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and sat on the couch.

"I am so _mad_!" Jeff yelled.

"Want to talk about it?" Mama Sterling asked.

"No," Jeff said, with a big mouthful of ice cream. "Everything I was afraid would happen, happened. How did I manage to me so wrong?"

"Nick just needs time to process, sweetie. He'll come around," Jeff's mom told him.

Jeff spent most of Saturday by himself, in his room, doodling in his song book. No lyrics were coming to him. He honestly couldn't get Nick's heartbroken face out of his head. Around three, Jeff was curled into a chair in the living room, doodling in his book when a lonely skateboard rolled in the open door.

"Nick alert," Jeff said sadly. Nick stood in the door, not coming in, just looking.

"Hey… can I talk to you for a second?" Nick asked.

"That depends. Talk to who, Jeff or RikeЯ?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff," Nick said, finally crossing the threshold.

"Well, he's not talking to you," Jeff said, getting up and walking across the living room to the kitchen.

"Wait, Jeff, I'm sorry I called you RikeЯ," Nick said. "That was major news, but I was acting like a 12 year old girl and I'm really sorry."

"What happens if you can't get used to it?" Jeff asked. "What happens the next time Blaine beats you for a solo or Sebastian makes a pass at you? Are you just going to lost it and burst out yelling about how your best friend in the whole world is secretly a superstar?"

"I'll want to, but I won't," Nick said. "Because my best friend is Jeff Sterling and he trusted me with his deepest, darkest secret. And that means more to me than any solo." Jeff looked at his feet. "I've said everything… so I'm just gonna go." Nick started dragging his feet in the direction of the door he'd come in. "Here I go… Headed for the door… after making the best apology I could possibly think of…" He turned and gave Jeff a pout. Jeff raised his eyebrows skeptically, so Nick continued. "Still hoping he forgives me! Halfway there…."

"You _are_ a 12 year old girl," Jeff laughed. Nick turned around to see Jeff's unbelievable smile.

"Friends again?" Nick asked.

"You bet," Jeff agreed. Nick rushed across the room and hugged Jeff tightly.

Monday morning at school, Blaine and Sebastian were telling anyone who would listen about the concert.

"We were right next to the stage," Blaine said. "RikeЯ sang Cali Girls right at us!"

"Which isn't as big a deal as the fact that RikeЯ gave me his towel," Sebastian said. "In his dressing room. He really did."

"Yeah, right," Trent said, rolling his eyes.

"But he _did_," Sebastian grumbled under his breath.

"Forget it, Bastian, it's not worth it," Nick advised.

"No, it's true," Jeff interjected. "And he gave Nick something too."

"What are you doing?" Nick hissed as Jeff pulled the turquoise tie out of Nick's bag.

"Trust me," Jeff winked.

"That's RikeЯ's tie!" Blaine exclaimed. "From the concert!"

"Yeah, RikeЯ _gave_ it to him," Jeff said proudly.

"But you know what…" Nick said. "You guys are much cooler than me. I mean, after all, your brother got us the tickets. You should have it." Nick handed the tie to Blaine, who stared at it, awestruck.

"Oh my God," Blaine exclaimed.

"What about me?" Sebastian asked.

"Pipe down, you got a towel," Nick said.

"Let me see that tie," Trent said, reaching for it, but Blaine tugged it away.

"Bastian, you might want to run," Nick said in an undertone. Sebastian got up and stood behind Jeff. Jeff and Nick looked at each other, then at the same time.

"Hey, everybody, look, it's RikeЯ's tie!" Nick and Jeff shouted. Jeff pushed Sebastian out of the way as 200 guys trampled Blaine and Trent.

"It's a gay school, I don't care what you guys say," Sebastian said, shaking his head as he pulled ahead of them, walking towards homeroom.

"I really liked that tie though," Nick said sadly.

"Maybe he'll give you another one," Jeff shrugged. They caught each other's eyes and grinned. "No, but really, it's from Express, we can go to the mall after school."

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**A/N: Do we like it, do we not like it? Leave me a review.**

**Should I bother writing more? Next episode's already done... so...?**

**Samantha.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I was told that if I didn't post this chapter in a timely fashion, I was going to be removed from a favorite author's list. I honestly cannot believe I'm on anyone's favorite author's list, because I am shit at this. More at the bottom. For now, enjoy! Warning for Sebastian being a twelve year old girl. Nick too.  
**

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Episode 2

A few months had passed since the first day of school. Jeff was doing weekly shows as RikeЯ in LA. The second show he'd done, the one after Nick had found out Jeff was RikeЯ, Jeff had offered Nick a choice.

"I know how much you love RikeЯ, so… I can get you a GA ticket, even though it's sold out… or…"

"Or?" Nick asked.

"You can come with me, backstage," Jeff said. "We can get you some RikeЯ~esque clothes, shades, a hat… RikeЯ's best friend?"

"Do I get a cool name?" Nick asked.

"Nick… Niccolo… Machiavelli," Jeff riffed. "Nicolaus Copernicus."

"No," Nick shook his head.

"Fine, what do you like?" Jeff asked.

"Megatron!" Nick grinned. Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Or Batman."

"No."

"Bruce Wayne," Nick said.

"No."

"Why not? You're like Clark Kent with your glasses and your hair dye," Nick said. "Why can't I be Batman?"

"Cuz I said so," Jeff said. "What about Everett?"

"Not bad," Nick said. "Where'd that come from?"

"When I was 7, I wrote this short story about this kid who became a superstar, and when I was 12, that kid turned out to be me. Riker originally had a middle name and a last name, and he had a brother too, because I always wanted one."

"You named your fake brother Everett?" Nick asked.

"Nah, his name was Ross," Jeff said. "Everett was my fake best friend."

"But I'm Nick, your real best friend," Nick said.

"Exactly," Jeff agreed. "So yes?"

"Oh yes," Nick grinned. "What are you going to do about Sebastian?"

"You're referring to his unhealthy obsession with RikeЯ, yes?"

"Yeah."

"I dunno, he'll get over it."

It had been a few months and Sebastian didn't seem to be over it.

"Nick, are you going to the RikeЯ concert tonight?" Sebastian asked.

"Nope!" Nick said brightly. "Movie night at Jeff's. We've got Cars, Enchanted, and High School Musical!"

"Are you guys, like, 12?" Sebastian asked.

"You're the one obsessed with RikeЯ, what is he, like, 12?" Jeff asked.

"_Fifteen_," Sebastian corrected him. "Almost sixteen, and I'm sixteen. So?"

"I'm curious, Sebastian," Jeff said. "You're obsessed with this guy you have no chance with, yeah?"

"Oh!" Sebastian exclaimed. "Don't say that. RikeЯ will love me back someday, I promise. You'll see."

"I really hope I won't," Jeff remarked.

"I thought we decided he was straight," Nick said.

"Oh, yeah," Jeff recalled. "We did decide that, didn't we?"

"Yeah, well, that is a miniscule factoid I'm choosing to ignore," Sebastian snipped. "I'm gonna ask Blaine to come with me." He got up from their table and crossed the cafeteria.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" Jeff asked. "It's not that I mind the attention, but it's a little weird."

"Are you scared he'll find out and be in love with you too?" Nick asked.

"Not really scared," Jeff shrugged. "He seems nice, I don't think he'd be awful to date, I just find it creepy how much he knows about me. And it's not just stuff about RikeЯ, personal stuff about _me_. Like my birthday. Or like last week, Blaine and Sebastian were having a very, very not-safe-for-work conversation about whether or not RikeЯ's ever screwed anyone in his dressing room and then proceeded to make some very scarily accurate guesses about his dick size. It makes me uncomfortable and I want him to stop. But I don't know how to do that without telling him the truth or seeming like a prude. Which I'm not!"

"_Have_ you ever screwed anyone in your dressing room?" Nick asked.

"No!" Jeff exclaimed. "Do I seem like the kind of person who would do that?"

"No," Nick admitted.

"I really wish Sebastian would transfer his obsession to, like, the Jonas Brothers. There's three of them, and they're all sort of cute," Jeff said. "I mean, Sebastian snuck into my dressing room last week, nearly jumped onstage the week before, and just when you think he can't get any more obsessed, _bam_, he kicks it up a notch. I don't even want to know what he'll do this week."

"Probably jump in the limo with us," Nick said. "You could have security ban him."

"But he's my friend," Jeff protested. "Maybe I should just tell him."

"You just watch out, because if he finds out, he's not only going to be in love with RikeЯ, he'll be in love with you too," Nick told him.

"Why do you keep saying that like it's a bad thing?" Jeff asked. "Sebastian seems like a nice guy, I'm sure he knows how to please a man. Since the only thing he does besides yak about RikeЯ is yak about all the guys he had in Paris last summer."

"And then the only thing he'll yak about is how he's slept with RikeЯ," Nick said.

"Who has?" Sebastian asked, sitting back down.

"No one here," Jeff said.

"You want my opinion, RikeЯ's doing that 'best friend' of his," Sebastian said. Nick and Jeff looked at each other.

"No, no, he's not," Nick said at the same time Jeff said, "Don't be gross."

Later that afternoon, Nick and Jeff were getting ready to go to the show, when Nick brought it up.

"Why is the idea of us being together 'gross' but Sebastian seems 'nice' and like he'd be a good lay?" Nick asked, finally. He'd been stewing on it all day.

"Nicky," Jeff sighed. "Forget it."

"No, it's been bothering me all day," Nick said.

"The question is irrelevant, I'm not going to be screwing anyone in my dressing room," Jeff said. "Absolutely least of all Sebastian. Better?"

"Not really," Nick muttered.

"Nick, I honestly can't deal with another one of my friends being in love with me right now. Let me deal with Sebastian first, then we can talk about you."

"I'm not in love with you," Nick said. "I just want to know why Sebastian's a more viable candidate than I am."

"He's not! No one is a viable candidate! RikeЯ is straight and I am too busy pretending to be him to be going on dates!" Jeff yelled.

"Okay! Fine!" Nick exclaimed. He pulled one of Jeff's striped shirts on over his head and picked up some sunglasses.

"Are you upset with me?" Jeff asked.

"No."

"I'm sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings, but what I really need right now is a best friend," Jeff said. "I've never had one before, I was always the weird kid, or the gay kid, or the kid who liked to dance more than play soccer. I'm finally at a place where I can at least pretend to fit in."

"You're a superstar, I imagine it would be hard to have friends," Nick said. "And I'm sorry too. I don't want to date you at all, I've just known Sebastian my whole life and I know how he is, and, yes, he's cute, but he's cute in the same way ring around the roses is cute until you find out it's about the plague."

"Oh," Jeff said. "Misunderstandings on both sides, let's just forget this ever happened, alright?"

"Definitely," Nick agreed.

* * *

"Wow, did we manage to get all the way through the night without Sebastian doing something stupid?" Jeff asked Nick as they drove away in the limo.

"Seems like it," Nick said, opening the moon roof. Then a head poked into the limo from the moon roof. Jeff and Nick screamed.

"Don't be scared, it's me, Sebastian Smythe," he said, his head hanging into the limo. "Wow, you're even hotter upside down."

"Aw, you're so sweet," Nick said, pretending to be flattered.

"I think he was talking to me," Jeff frowned. "Look, you are very sweet, but… I'm… I have…" Jeff sighed, cursing his career. "I have a boyfriend already."

"A boyfriend?" Sebastian asked. "I haven't ever read any gossip news to that effect."

"It's supposed to be quiet, I really don't want everyone knowing my business," Jeff said. "I've been trying not to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not interested."

"Okay," Sebastian said, sadly. "I get it. I won't bother you anymore. God, you must think I'm pathetic."

"No," Jeff said. "It's normal. I went through a Timberlake phase. I never jumped on his limo, but…"

"I'm sorry," Sebastian said.

"It's okay, now get off the roof before you dent it," Nick said.

"Please tell me your boyfriend isn't him," Sebastian said. Jeff and Nick looked at each other.

"Look, Sebastian, it's Sebastian, right? Who Rikes's boyfriend is doesn't matter," Nick began, but Jeff cut him off.

"Yeah, he is," Jeff said.

"RikeЯ!" Nick exclaimed.

"Everett," Jeff replied. "He was just going to find out anyway."

"I'd be a much better boyfriend than him," Sebastian interjected. "I have references and everything." Sebastian rummaged through his pockets and dropped a piece of paper into the limo. "I'll back off for now, but I'll wait for you forever, RikeЯ!" Then he was gone and Nick closed the moon roof.

"What the hell was that?" Nick asked Jeff.

"What?" Jeff shrugged.

"He's going to tell people about – Everett and RikeЯ. It'll be in scandal magazines before dawn," Nick exclaimed.

"Oh, hush, he won't tell," Jeff said. "I'm more interested in this." He leaned forward to pick up Sebastian's references.

"You really don't want to read that," Nick said quickly, trying to take it from Jeff.

"Yes, I do," Jeff said, tugging it gently from Nick's grasp and folding it. "Sexual experiences: Blaine Anderson, Thad Harwood, Wes Montgomery, _'Beats'_ – oh God, this has been a lesson in too much information. Kissing references: above, plus Santana Lopez – what the _fuck_, I'm going to need that story – Trent Nixon, Nick Duval – Nick DUVAL?!" Jeff looked at Nick incredulously.

"We were like 11, and I wanted to know what kissing was like," Nick said, taking the piece of paper from Jeff lightly. "It was not an altogether horrible experience. Bastian was my best friend before you came along, and I really don't have to justify myself to you."

"Fine," Jeff said. He pulled his hat off his head, revealing pristinely streakless blond hair, pulled his glasses from his pocket, and took off his long coat to reveal normal jeans and a t-shirt. Nick did a similar transformation beside him, and the limo stopped. "Thanks!" Jeff yelled to the driver as they got out and walked up Jeff's driveway. "Movie time now?"

"Yeah, I really want to watch Enchanted for some reason," Nick said. Nick's phone lit up with a text. "Ugh, it's Sebastian, he want to come over and moan. Quick, we've got to Bastian-proof your room." Nick and Jeff ran upstairs. Nick quickly put the DVD in the player while Jeff hid all his incriminating RikeЯ stuff. Hurriedly, Nick dumped a bag of popcorn into a bowl, and the pair of them jumped onto Jeff's bed just as Sebastian burst through the bedroom door.

"Wow, you're actually watching a movie," Sebastian commented. "I half-expected you two to be fucking, the way my night's gone."

"How do you know we weren't, and then cleaned up really fast when we got your text?" Jeff asked. Nick hit him. "Ow!"

"What happened tonight, Bastian?" Nick asked.

"Remember at lunch, how I said RikeЯ and Everett are probably hooking up? Well they are," Sebastian said.

"Are they really?" Jeff laughed.

"Aw, poor baby, the celebrity you're in love with likes someone else," Nick cooed sarcastically.

"Thanks for being nice about it," Sebastian replied even more sarcastically. "Why did I think coming over here would be a good idea?"

"Because we're your best friends," Nick said. "I think you just need to get a boyfriend. Do you want me to hook you back up with Blaine?"

"No, he's seeing that new transfer kid, Kurt whatever."

"How about Hunter, then?" Nick asked.

"He's at military school, as you know full well, and back on one of his not-even-remotely-bicurious kicks," Sebastian said.

"What about Nick!" Jeff exclaimed. "You guys would be perfect together."

"Excuse me?" Nick and Sebastian both said.

"You're both stubborn," Jeff said.

"I am not," Nick and Sebastian both said, crossing their arms.

"See, you always agree with each other!" Jeff exclaimed.

"No we don't," the other two said.

"I am definitely seeing a couple here," Jeff grinned.

"You're not – because I'm not – !" Sebastian and Nick said to each other in unison. "Thank dead wizard God."

"And, you know, that's smart," Jeff said, continuing to Sebastian, "because what if a friend loved another friend, but they didn't get love back? Then things would get all weird and uncomfortable and the friends couldn't be friends anymore. And there is nothing more important than our friendship, Sebastian."

"Oh, man, you love me!" Sebastian exclaimed.

"No," Jeff said decidedly. "I mean, I do love you, like a brother or a pet fish. You know, I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet, but I don't want to kiss you."

"That's for the best, because while I admit you'd probably be a good fuck, it wouldn't last, but I do think you and RikeЯ could end up being close friends," Sebastian said.

"Oh, lovely," Jeff sighed.

"Once RikeЯ and I are together, we'll have you over for sushi," Sebastian said.

"Looking forward to it," Jeff said through gritted teeth. He took a pack of gum out of his pocket and downed two pieces, because the thought of RikeЯ and Sebastian. "Want some?"

"No, definitely not," Sebastian said.

"I'll have some, have to get the thought of me dating Sebastian out of my mouth, thanks," Nick said, taking a piece. "Bastian's been strictly anti-gum since this one time in the second grade, some kid spat gum in his hair and he had to have it buzzed off."

"Oh, God, I would die if someone got gum in my precious blond locks," Jeff said. "I feel you buddy."

"Yeah… I'm just gonna go home," Sebastian said. "Tonight has been sufficiently depressing without the loss of a beautiful hairdo." He left Jeff's room and soon they heard him leaving the house.

"I think I thought of a way to break Sebastian of his RikeЯ obsession!" Nick grinned.

* * *

"Oh, My, God, I can't believe you saw RikeЯ and Everett get in a huge fight at our mall at the same time I was just finishing my Sunday morning fuck for Satan," Sebastian said.

"I know, right? It's like knock-knock, who's there, fate," Nick said. "He's right over there." Sebastian looked across the courtyard and there was RikeЯ, reading a magazine near the fountain. The courtyard was deserted otherwise, it was far too early for the mall to be open. Sebastian cautiously approached RikeЯ.

"RikeЯ?" Sebastian asked softly. Jeff dropped his magazine.

"Hey! The kid from the moon roof. Look at you all upside right!" Jeff exclaimed, adjusting his prescription sunglasses and chewing gum loudly. Sebastian backed up in alarm. "Where are my manners? Have a seat!" Jeff pulled Sebastian to sit down with him. "Want some gum?" He offered Sebastian from the pack in his pocket.

"I… didn't know you liked gum," Sebastian said, leaning away from Jeff. "I've searched all of your websites and none of them mentioned you were a chewer."

"Oh, I'm a chewer alright," Jeff said, smacking loudly. "I chew in the morning, the afternoon, the evening, all the time, like a train. Choo, choo!" Jeff laughed. "If it can be chewed, it's in my mouth."

"G-good to know," Sebastian said, standing up. "You might want to think about updating some of your websites."

"Why? Does it bother you?" Jeff asked, standing up as well. "It really turns off some people. They can't even be around me. They love me, but I disgust them."

"Well, I'm not like that," Sebastian said, bravely.

"You're not?" Jeff asked, taken aback. "Because it's okay if you are." Jeff slung an arm around Sebastian's shoulders.

"No, relationships are about sacrifice, and I accept you just the way you are," Sebastian said sweetly.

"Good to know," Jeff said, surprised. Then he decided to go for the gold. "New chew, coming through!" He took a piece of licorice gum and started to chew it. Sebastian was visible grossed out.

"You're… uh… turning black," Sebastian said, backing out of Jeff's grasp.

"That's cuz it's licorice!" Jeff exclaimed. "I _love_ licorice! Don't make me laugh, it comes out my nose. Wanna see?"

"No!"

"Too late!" Jeff exclaimed. Sebastian reached forward and grabbed Jeff's nose. "Am I grossing you out? Because I totally understand if you want to transfer your obsession to the Jonas Brothers."

"No, no, my love is bigger than my disgust," Sebastian said, releasing Jeff's nose.

"Watch this!" Jeff said. He began to blow a huge bubble which subsequently popped all over Sebastian's face. Sebastian screamed. "How do you like me now?" Jeff asked, angry Sebastian wasn't giving up. Sebastian tore the gum off his face.

"I still love you!" Sebastian said.

"What does it take with you? What more do I have to do? You and RikeЯ are never going to happen!" Jeff yelled.

"Why not?" Sebastian asked sadly.

"Because…" Jeff said. He took off his sunglasses and dunked his hair in the fountain, the coloured streaks washed away, and he took his glasses from his pocket, putting them on. "…I'm RikeЯ." Sebastian stared. "Me, Jeff." Sebastian fainted. "That went well."

When Sebastian came to, he had a lot of questions.

"So, you were RikeЯ in the limo when I was upside down?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah."

"And backstage when I was hanging out of the window?"

"Yup."

"And when I hid in your bass drum and rode on your tour bus all the way to Phoenix?"

"You did what?" Jeff exclaimed.

"Nothing," Sebastian said, hurriedly. "How come you didn't tell me? I have said things in front of you I would have never wanted RikeЯ to hear in a million years. I'm creepy, but I'm not that creepy."

"I'm sorry, I just thought since you were so in love with RikeЯ, you might have been in love with me too," Jeff said.

"Do you think I am?" Sebastian asked.

"… you tell me," Jeff said.

"I stand by my assessment. You'd be a good lay," Sebastian said. "God, the way you move your body does things to mine no one else ever has. But I don't think it would last." Jeff nodded. "Well! That's two years of my life I'll never get back."

"Sorry," Jeff said. "Whaddya think, are we gonna be okay?"

"One question," Sebastian said.

"Shoot."

"You and Nick aren't really hooking up in your dressing room, are you?"

"No," Jeff said. "Definitely not."

"Alright," Sebastian said. Jeff gave him a consolatory hug, which Sebastian sadly returned.

"Anything?" Jeff asked.

"You're pushing it, Jeff, you're still damn hot," Sebastian said. Jeff let go of Sebastian immediately. "So, uh… the Jonas Brothers. You don't happen to have any of their numbers, do you?"

"Damn, you bounce back fast!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Nah, that was a joke," Sebastian said. "I'm done being a fangirl for now."

"Well, good, cuz I don't have their numbers. I met them for like a second at an awards show last year," Jeff said.

"You and Nick, though," Sebastian said.

"Nick Jonas?" Jeff asked.

"No, our Nick," Sebastian said. "I can see that. He needs a good guy, you're a good guy. You're hot as hell. He's not a bad kisser… Hold on, did you actually read the references I dropped you?"

"I started to, but Nick took them away from me," Jeff said.

"So, you didn't get down to 'special skills'?" Sebastian asked.

"…no…" Jeff said. "What are these special skills?"

"No, no, no," Sebastian said. "I have to get that paper back from Nick."

"Sebastian," Jeff asked.

"What's up, kiddo?" Sebastian asked.

"You're not gonna tell Blaine, are you?" Jeff asked. "I don't want the Warblers to know. They'd treat me different – like… show choir royalty, and I'm really more comfortable being the quiet kid who dances in the back."

"Nah, I'm not gonna tell Blaine," Sebastian said. "Blaine is… he _was_ the best three months of freshman year, but… then he changed. Nick and I, we've been best friends our whole lives, there have been times when it's been him and me against the whole world. He's let you in, and I think you'll be a good addition to our friendship."

"Alright cool," Jeff said. "And what exactly is a Sunday Morning Fuck for Satan?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Sebastian said. "I convince a nice-looking choir boy to do me instead of going to church. Corrupting the teenage boys of Los Angeles one Sunday at a time."

"You're sixteen years old," Jeff said. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"You?" Sebastian suggested with a shrug.

"No, thank you," Jeff said. "I mean, don't you have a hobby?"

"Like a secret blog where I put thousands of beautiful pictures of RikeЯ's face? And more gifs than I could possibly count of that hip thing? No, I don't do that," Sebastian said. "And if I did, I certainly wouldn't tell you about it, and I definitely wouldn't point out that Nick's is way more obsessive than mine, he's just a little more composed about it in real life. And while I'm not telling you things, Nick's url is definitely _not_ RikersCaliBoy."

"Whaat?" Jeff laughed.

"Seriously, you want obsessed, look at Nick's blog," Sebastian said. "I was a warm up act compared to him."'

"Yeah, no," Jeff said. "I will not be invading Nick's privacy like that."

"Yeah, if I was you, I wouldn't want to read all that cutesy shit about how in love with you he is," Sebastian said. "He's not a bad artist, either, I mean, he posted some really good drawings on RikeveЯett last weekend."

"RikeveЯett?" Jeff asked.

"No one ships RikeЯ and Everett more than Nick," Sebastian said. "Now that I think about it–"

"I have to go," Jeff said, taking off in the direction of home.

Jeff got to Nick's house and burst into the living room without knocking.

"Nick, I have to tell you something," Jeff exclaimed. Nick looked up from his laptop and immediately slammed it shut upon seeing Jeff.

"What's up?" Nick asked, moving his laptop to the coffee table, and putting three books and a bottle of soda on top of it.

"Remember that short story I said I wrote when I was seven?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah," Nick nodded, standing up and walking toward Jeff to further draw his attention from the laptop.

"Everett wasn't RikeЯ's best friend," Jeff said. "He was his boyfriend." Nick stared at Jeff. "His best friend was a penguin, but I was 7 and that's beside the point."

"What are you saying?" Nick asked.

"I'm saying I want to be your boyfriend," Jeff said. "I want you to be my Cali Boy and I'll be your superstar. I'm saying I love you." Nick stared.

"Since when?"

"Since Hey and let's play Monopoly," Jeff said. "If it's too weird for you, we'll work something out, but–" Nick cut him off with a kiss. "Thank Dead Wizard God."

* * *

**A/N: Squeeeeeeeeeeeee. So um. Niff is a thing that exists, and that should hold you over for quite some time now, right, because, while I'd love to be on a weekly or biweekly or semiannual updating schedule, like I was in, let's say... summer 2008 (when i would publish something every day except Saturday), I don't think I can do that anymore, because it's 2013, and I have a job, so I can't spend all day lying on a picnic table writing. Buttttt I will be trying to get stuff out to you guys in a more orderly fashion than I do. I'm starting ****_The Only Exception_****, the fourth installment in the ****_Dark Side_**** 'verse, probably later today, and, um... I really wanted to start publishing more stuff that I'm working on, like this Soulmate!AU Niff thing, and updating Artie's Shitty Life and my Hogwarts!AU, oh and my McKinley!Seblaine AU but, um... you know I won't be doing any of that haha.**

**Samantha.**

**Next time on Best of Both Worlds: It's Jeff's birthday, and the celebrity friends that Jeff didn't know RikeЯ had are throwing him a VIP party. Everett's on the guest list, but will Sebastian make the cut? Tune in next... eventually... to find out!**


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